


What was, is gone

by tigriswolf



Series: comment_fic drabbles [236]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Highlander: The Series, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Bucky Barnes is so tragic, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Codependency, Dubious Consent, M/M, Methos is not a good person, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 18:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3144152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a not-quite-mortal rummaging through Methos’ cabinets.  His daemon – she’s on the floor, skeletal and scarred and so broken she barely glances at Mel as Mel carefully moves toward her.  Her eyes go to Methos and the knife he holds, and she mutters, “Incoming.” </p><p>[Daemon AU for "You could drown in those eyes, I said"]</p>
            </blockquote>





	What was, is gone

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You could drown in those eyes, I said](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3092843) by [tigriswolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf). 



> Title: What was, is gone  
> Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Anne Sexton  
> Warnings: everything in the Winter Soldier's backstory; the fact that while Methos is an amazing character, he's not the nicest guy (i.e., dub-con); and how frickin' codependent Steve&Bucky were/are  
> Pairings: Methos/ex-Winter, ex-Winter Soldier/Steve, Methos/Steve, Methos/ex-Winter Soldier/Steve, past-Steve/Bucky  
> Rating: PG13  
> Wordcount: 2450  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: Any, any/any/any, they all have dæmons
> 
> Note: I've reused the same daemons from my previous daemon AUs.

Methos wakes to his daemon pushing her nose into his neck. For this identity, she is Mel, a [fennec fox](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fennec_fox), an adorable, playful predator; no one at work thinks much of Matthew Carmichael, the youngest member of the research team, and that’s just how he likes it. 

“Someone’s downstairs,” Mel whispers in a language long dead. “And something’s wrong with his daemon.” 

He grabs his knife and follows her down. 

.

There is a not-quite-mortal rummaging through Methos’ cabinets. His daemon – she’s on the floor, skeletal and scarred and so broken she barely glances at Mel as Mel carefully moves toward her. Her eyes go to Methos and the knife he holds, and she mutters, “Incoming.” 

The man turns, throwing a knife of his own and Methos catches it easily. The man looks as bad as the daemon. 

Mel glances from the daemon to Methos. “Can we keep them?” she asks. 

.

Methos has seen many things in his long life. He will treasure a fennec fox herding a lioness towards the bathtub for the rest of his days. 

.

The man is dangerous, of that Methos has no doubt. He saw the footage on the news, and he skims the files the Black Widow released because information is the most powerful weapon of all. _The asset_ and _the Winter Soldier_ – titles, labels. Not names. 

“James Buchanan Barnes,” the man says, fingers twisted in his daemon’s rough fur.

“Is that what you want to be called?” Methos asks him. The daemon flicks her tail around Mel, who tries catching it. There is some life in the poor bastard, then. Something his masters could not fully destroy.

Good. Methos has been bored lately. 

.

He calls the man Benjamin. Mel calls the daemon Sasina. 

“What does it mean?” she asks, knocking Mel over with one swipe. Four days of steady food for Benjamin have already done wonders for them both; she is still scarred, and will always be, but Methos can’t count her ribs anymore. 

“Hope,” Mel answers. It does – in a language Methos has not used in thousands of years. 

.

Matthew Carmichael walks away from his life and no one looks for him.

Matthew Ash has a younger brother named Benjamin and an island all his own; his daemon is an [Appaloosa roan](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appaloosa) named Des. Benjamin’s daemon is a lioness called Sasina, and she spends a great deal of time stalking Des. They chase each other around the island, and Benjamin sleeps and eats and slowly builds himself back up. Matthew keeps him up-to-date on the outside world but Benjamin needs time to figure out who he is and who he wants to become. 

.

It is half a year before Sasina thinks to ask Des, “How did you change shape?” 

Des laughs, nudging at Sasina with her nose. “It happens if you live long enough,” she says. 

That evening, Matthew explains immortals – and that Benjamin should’ve been one. “It wasn’t just the serum that kept you alive,” he tells Benjamin, who is stroking Sasina’s neck with his metal hand. “And you might live long enough for Sasina to relearn how to shift.” 

.

It is another six months before Benjamin dares lean in to kiss Matthew. 

Benjamin Ash is quiet and solemn. He has a quick wit but lacks the forwardness to make jokes in public. He loves to read science fiction and ancient history texts, writes poetry that would’ve made Byron weep in envy and pain, and can shoot a man a mile away or tear through an entire unit of soldiers with his bare hands. He is a good man. 

Matthew is not. He should gently rebuff the boy for a number of reasons. He doesn’t. Instead, he takes Benjamin to bed and teaches him the pleasure of a gentle touch. 

Outside, Des sinks to the ground and Sasina curls up with her, listening as Des tells stories of places and people long gone. 

.

Two years after the Winter Soldier disappears, he reappears. Jarvis, of course, alerts Tony and [Ukiah](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_swan) immediately. 

“What’s happening?” Cap asks, following Tony into the first room with a TV, where Jarvis plays the footage: the Winter Soldier at the Smithsonian, a lioness at his side, wandering through the Captain America exhibit. 

“He looks like a normal person,” Tony mutters, spinning the footage to different angles. Barnes (because Rogers throws a hissy fit every time someone calls him _Winter Soldier_ ) is wearing regular people clothes: jeans and a dark sweatshirt, biker boots and a ballcap. 

“Bucky,” Steve says at the same time [Ealga](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey_badger) says, “[Kenna](http://www.wildexhibition.com/photos/lioness.jpg).” 

“So, he found his daemon,” Ukiah muses, stretching his neck and turning his head to look from Cap to Barnes and back. “That’s good.” 

“Yeah, but we still don’t know his headspace, or where he’s been hiding out for the past two years,” Tony says. “So. Decision time.” 

“Is this live?” Steve asks. 

Tony nods. “Yup.” 

Steve looks down at Ealga; Ealga looks up at Steve. They both turn and hurry from the room. 

“They’re going to do something stupid,” Ukiah says. 

“So let’s call in the cavalry,” Tony says. “Jarvis.” 

“Dialing Ms. Romanova now, sir,” Jarvis announces. 

.

Matthew and Des (in [taipan](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coastal_taipan) form and draped across Matthew’s shoulders) watch Ben and Sasina mosey through the exhibit. Ben’s hair is pulled back in a low ponytail and he hasn’t shaved in a couple days, which helps disguise the fact that he’s identical to the Bucky Barnes gazing down from various displays. Sasina, though, is unmistakably the same lioness always at Barnes’ side, but Matthew decides to be forgiving of the mortals because to human eyes, most lionesses look the same. The daemons, though – well. Everyone knows Kenna died with Barnes.

Des murmurs, “We’ve been here long enough. If there is any sort of alarm, it’s been raised.” 

Matthew watches Steve Rogers sneak into the exhibit, his daemon slinking after, and smiles. 

.

By the time the Avengers and authorities get to the exhibit, the Winter Soldier and Captain America are both gone.

.

Steve can’t look away from Bucky and Ealga keeps trying to get close to Kenna, and Bucky won’t meet Steve’s eyes and Kenna keeps shying away from Ealga. 

Finally, the stranger’s daemon, a grizzly bear (who was a snake earlier?), shoulders her way in-between Ealga and Kenna, snarling, “Leave her alone.” 

Ealga backs down, but not because the bear told her to, Steve knows. Because she realized that Kenna was distressed, just like Bucky. So Ealga climbs into Steve’s lap, and together they watch in silence as Bucky and Kenna both relax. 

The plane lands. Steve leaves last and silently follows the bear. 

.

“Captain Rogers,” the stranger says, “I’m Matthew Ash.” He’s smiling. There’s nothing pleasant about it. Steve stands up straight, arms loose at his side, and Ealga crouches between his feet. “My brother, Benjamin,” Ash continues, nodding towards Bucky, who has edged slightly behind him. 

The bear is still between Steve and Kenna, and she says, “I’m Des.” She tilts her head toward Kenna. “My sister, Sasina.” 

“It’s good to meet you,” Steve says, trying not to rage or cry.

.

“Here,” Natasha says, pointing towards the far left corner of the screen. “Him. Barnes is reacting to him.” 

Jarvis pulls the image to another screen and magnifies it. Tall, thin, a snake on his shoulders, a smirk on his face. There is no sound, but they watch as he says something ( _Brother, time to go_ , Natasha reads) and Barnes goes to him without glancing at Steve. And Steve, the dumbass, follows.

They use security cameras to track them all the way to a small airfield upstate. And the trail ends. 

Steve isn’t being held, and it doesn’t look like Barnes’ safety is being used against him, either. 

.

Ash’s daemon still shifts. It horrifies Steve when he stops to think about it, so he doesn’t. Instead, he spends his time exploring the island while Ealga tries to befriend Des and _Sasina_ , and whenever _Benjamin_ lets him, Steve will sit near him and talk about whatever Benjamin wants to talk about. 

He doesn’t know how much times passes. He keeps in shape by running and climbing trees, by sparring with Ash (who is as fast as Natasha and knows so much more than her it’s terrifying). They all eat dinner together and watch a movie of Benjamin or Sasina’s choosing each night, and then Steve cleans up the mess while Benjamin, Ash, Des, and Sasina all go to the same room. 

Each night, Ealga huddles beside Steve and they report the day’s findings to each other.

In the beginning, he just wanted to go with Bucky. To bring him home. He doesn’t know how long it’s been, but that plan isn’t possible anymore. 

.

“Steve,” Benjamin says one morning. He’s been observing the captain for months now, trying to decide who the captain can be to him. Sasina remembers more than he does, of the time they were Kenna and Bucky. The memories don’t hurt her the way they do him.

“Ben,” Steve says back, smiling at him.

“Wanna go for a walk?” Benjamin asks, his metal hand resting on Sasina’s head.

“We’d love to,” Ealga says, walking forward to bump her head against Sasina’s chin. 

.

Benjamin kisses Steve as the sun is setting, with Ealga tucked beneath Sasina’s throat. He doesn’t kiss like Bucky, but Steve shoves that thought away. He’s Bucky but he’s not, and it doesn’t matter because Steve will take whatever he can and be glad of it. 

.

“Captain Rogers,” Ash says, “what is it that you want?” He’s leaning back against the sand, bare beneath the sun, while Des is a dolphin playing in the surf. Benjamin is elsewhere, probably reading one of those terrible books he likes, and Sasina napping. Ealga hunches down at Steve’s feet, teeth bared at Ash. 

“I want Benjamin to be happy,” Steve says. 

“And what of revenge?” Ash asks. Des lunges out of the water and Steve watches as she shifts into – into what, he’s not sure. Some kind of [dinosaur](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deinonychus)? She stalks out of the waves and settles beside Ash. 

“Revenge?” Steve echoes, staring at Des as she gently flaps and dries each of her feathers. Feathers on a dinosaur? 

“There are still people trying to find Ben,” Ash tells him, “to reclaim him and turn him back into their weapon. I intend to not only punish them for their past crimes, but also obliterate the organization so thoroughly it can never rebuild.” Ash smiles up at him. “I think it might help ease Ben’s mind to aid me in my quest, and I know we’d both be reassured if you joined us.” 

Steve had banked his rage, his hate, tried to ignore it. “You’re asking me to help you destroy Hydra?” 

“I am,” Ash says, regally inclining his head. 

“ _Yes_ ,” Ealga snarls for them both. 

.

That night, Ash leans across Benjamin to kiss Steve on the mouth. Steve startles – and then he kisses back. 

.

“We’ll start here,” Matthew says, tapping his finger on the red X on the map. 

“Training facility,” Ben says. “I was always sent there for recalibration and overhaul.” He doesn’t look up but Matthew and Steve share a glance. 

On the floor, Ealga is nestled beneath Sasina’s paws and Des (still in that feathered dinosaur form that Ben called _deinonychus_ and then spent two hours lecturing Steve about dinosaurs in modern media) is slumped against Sasina’s side.

“Captain,” Matthew murmurs, leaning in, “I don’t plan on leaving survivors.” 

Steve smiles. “Neither do I.” 

.

“Sir,” Jarvis calls. 

Tony is asleep, so Ukiah wanders to the monitor where Jarvis plays the footage. “Oh, shit,” he mutters, watching Cap, Barnes, and – well, they don’t have an actual name for him yet. They’ve been calling him Taipan, for his daemon. But – 

“Jarvis, wake everybody up,” Ukiah orders because there is no snake in the footage. There is, however, a fucking _dinosaur_ ripping out throats and slicing up bellies. Ukiah hurries back to Tony and bites him till he flails off the bed shouting, “I’m up!” 

.

“Where to next?” Steve asks, covered in blood. None of it is his.

“Ben?” Matthew says, sheathing his sword and knife. “Your pick.” He reaches out to wipe a drop of blood from Benjamin’s cheek. 

Benjamin steps forward to kiss Matthew, reaching for Steve with his metal hand. “The room,” he murmurs. “And I’ll decide from there.” 

Matthew leads them out. At the exit, Steve glances back to the security camera. He could tell them the hotel, or the coordinates for Matthew’s island, or say the codeword that will catch Jarvis’ attention no matter where he is. Instead, he mouths, _Goodbye_. He made his choice a long time ago. 

.

“What the fucking fuck?” Stark demands as everyone watches in disbelief. Steve, Barnes, and Taipan move in concert and the Hydra operatives never had a chance. Two hundred and twelve people are executed and the trio leaves without a single wound between them. Their daemons kill humans and they kill daemons, and Natasha has never seen anything so efficient yet beautiful. 

When Steve turns to mouth _Goodbye_ , Natasha closes her eyes in sorrow and opens them in determination. 

“Maybe we should leave them to it?” Sam suggests. 

“Maybe,” Natasha murmurs. 

.

Three men with a lioness, a honey badger, and a fucking _raptor_ should not be hard to find. But they are. Tony doesn’t know what the plan is, once they’re finally located. Far as he can tell, they’re burning Hydra to ash and then burning the ashes, which is A-okay by him. He got his revenge for three months’ captivity. Barnes – Barnes is owed a lot more. And Tony likes to think Steve Rogers knows where the line is, but the other guy, Taipan-Raptor, he’s a complete unknown.

Well, that’s not entirely accurate. They’ve found a dozen identities for him, lives lived from birth to death, but how much of that is true? Natasha’s put together four different profiles for him and they don’t have any idea how accurate any of them are, and it’s annoying, is what it is. Annoying. And terrifying. 

“Come to bed, Tony,” Pepper says. He knows that [Isieul](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inland_taipan) is already curled up on Ukiah’s back. 

He lets her drag him to bed and turns off the worry and fear. It’s not a productive use of his energy. 

.

“So, you’re effectively immortal,” Steve says, sketching Matthew and Benjamin, who are both sunbathing. Ealga and Sasina are both dashing through the surf, trying to catch Des, who’s in [stingray](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_ray) form and laughing. 

“As are you,” Matthew murmurs. Ben opens his eyes and glances at Steve, grinning, and Steve grins back. Forever looks pretty good.


End file.
